.....can you even imagine it? I took a leave of abscence for three months after losing two friends from my department in 1999.
It didn't take long before I had to get back on the truck as they say. Every time I heard the sirens and air horns, I felt that that was where I belonged, on the truck. Not sitting on the porch with a beer. I had to go back.
So I did. It was hard at first, and every time I drove a tanker I was a quivering mess of nerves, fear, and anguish. I sometimes imagined what it had to have felt like for Pappy and Brian as they rolled on that curve on a cold October day.
The feeling of impending doom, the resignation that it was not up to you anymore. That it was all in Gods hands now.
I still have my moments of fear while riding in apparatus. I have seen what can and does happen.
You are not immune to it, none of us are! If you think you are, I will be glad to provide you with a reality check.
This is not the post I was trying to write, but it is what it has become. Much like conversations that ramble all over the place, so to does my mind when I get to typing.
I know I get a bit passionate when I talk about my friends, but until you lose someone like we did, you can never understand the depth of pain, hurt and utter devastation that comes from a LODD.
I pray you never do.
OMNIS CEDO DOMUS.
This is my mantra. It is my greatest single passion in the fire service today. To hopefully have a positive impact on as many as possible. To teach something to you that may keep you alive. Or to just be the guy yelling SNAKE! and pointing out a danger.