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The Parting Glass: Goodnight Chief.

I am sitting alone at last. The firehouse is quiet and I can hear the pipes playing in my head. My Chief has fallen. While we ran from tone out to tone out, he slowly let go. As his boys ran the beat, he went to sleep. I miss him, you know. For some silly reason he used to call me "Watash". I think I'll write that on the back of my helmet. He believed in me.
He was our bull dog, our champion. He loved his men. We loved him. You couldn't help it. He believed in us. As the pipes play and the bell is rung, we'll sing a song for our Chief and remember him fondly as he was. But I will remember forever my last moment with him.
We had just run a Code, the boys had performed flawlessly. None older than 22, they fought for another man's life while thier own Chief lay dying in his hospital bed. They did it all, ET Tube first try, EKG and drug therapy, the works. I just stood there and passed them what they needed. You'd never know they were "just kids" as so many prefer to dubb them. I was watching them work and thought, "Not professional? Kiss my A**!" We can take these boys anywhere!

So as I stood next to the chief, I couldn't wait to tell him how well they'd performed, even then, knowing of his struggle, wanting to be with him. I took his hand. It was cold. I leaned over and said, "Watash reporting for duty, Chief." His eyes lit up, and he struggled for breath. I held his gaze, begging God to help me hold back my tears. "You shoulda seen your boys tonight, Chief" I said. "You can be so proud!" He reached up and placed his hand on my face and his eyes grew bright. He tried to talk, but we had to calm him. I told him I understood and I told him I loved him. Then I left him. I left him knowing we were on duty, toeing the line, ready to make him proud. Each University Firefighter, with grief in his/her heart, refusing to quit the tour.

I've never wanted to be a Battalion Chief or any other kind of Chief. I like my place, I like being a company officer and have never longed for the crossed bugles. But now I sit in his place. Only a week ago he sat here, saying "Well, Watash, whats for lunch?" Now I'm here...... And he is gone. Its after 2 am, and I can't sleep. Somehow I have to find the focus and willpower to begin again, to press on. I need to tackle that Battalion Chief's job, and do it for him. I know he wanted that. He believed in his people. He wanted one of us to step up and take it. So we must step up even as we plan his funeral.

We are the very embodiment of his life, his devotion to duty and his dedication to the young men and women who worked under him. We will be a living memorial to the Chief. What an honor to follow behind this man.

But just now, at 2:30 am, in a quiet firehouse, I miss him and I wish I could sit and talk with him just one more time. He was my friend you know.

The Parting Glass

"Of all the money that ere I had
I spent it in good company
And all the harm I ever done
A' las' it was to no but me
And all I've done, for want of wit,
To memory now I can't recall,

So fill to me the parting glass,
Goodnight and joy be to you all!
So fill to me the parting glass,
And drink a health what 'ere befalls,
Then gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and joy be to you all!

Of all the comrades the ere I had,
that are sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts that ere I had,
that wish me one more day to stay,

But since it fell into my lot,
That I should rise, and you should not,
I'll gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and Joy Be To You All!

So fill to me the parting glass,
And drink a health what 'ere befalls,
Then gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and joy be to you all!"

--The High Kings

Good night to you, Chief. We're on duty, we're ready to roll!....."And all those kinds of things." --Watash

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Comment by Mike Cody on November 23, 2008 at 8:53am: What a great tribute. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like you are doing what he would have wanted, carrying the torch.
God Bless.

Comment by Derick Stansbury on November 23, 2008 at 3:41am: I don't have the words Cap. It makes me feel better that you do, and that you share them.

Comment by Katy Luetke on November 22, 2008 at 4:56pm: Wow, what a beautiful post. A friend and I were going to get on Fire-E today and look up firemen from the University program in Alaska, what an impression. Sorry for you loss, My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Comment by Ben Fleagle on November 22, 2008 at 4:32pm: Thank you Chief. He would have liked to have known you, he really took heart with your "Dissent" speech. You would have liked the man. He was the kind of Battalion Chief that despite manning requirements, always found a way to get someone to act in the "Aide" position. He new how to manage things. He always made you feel capable and helped you see what you could accomplish. Thanks again.

Comment by Ben Fleagle on November 22, 2008 at 4:09pm: This brotherhood is truly amazing to me. Never ceases to. Thank you to all for joining me in my vigil last night. I felt strangely at peace after writing, felt as though I needed to stay awake, watch over the company through the night. Kind of whacked, I know. I didn't make it, I passed out in the desk chair, drooling. The tones went off and I woke up with one foot asleep and a wet chin, stumbling out of the room wondering what Phil would say seeing me like that.
Thanks again to you all. UFD will recover. Roarke, your quote above is truly appropriate. Thank you.

Comment by Brandon Roark on November 22, 2008 at 3:47pm: Dropping a tear for a Brother lost, your poetic words remind me of a prayer by Henry Scott Holland as King Edward VII laid in state:

"Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again."

My prayers are with you Brother Fleagle, UFD and all of the Interior. The pain of this lost extends well beyond the confines of the banks'.

On a final note...."Shamangis" - Never have figured out what he was talking about, but it still makes me Chuckle :)

I will remember Chief Rounds, it's my duty, my honor and my privilege.

Comment by Michael Haefner on November 22, 2008 at 3:28pm: I feel relieved that he is no longer suffering but saddened by his loss.
Cap. Very few people come to mind to fill his boots. I think you are the perfect person for the job.

Comment by Ryan Cox on November 22, 2008 at 1:54pm: Brother I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I'm sure the Chief knew exactly who he'd be leaving the care of his boys to. RFB

Comment by Matt Mokracek on November 22, 2008 at 12:22pm: Cap...your words have brought a tear to my eye. I know that you will do the best in the days to come...thank you for creating such a poetic way for us to remember our Chief Rounds.

Comment by Doug Price on November 22, 2008 at 11:52am: Ben, our thoughts and prayers are with you and the gang at UFD. Sounds like the Chief had a hell of a bunch behind him, and now it's time for you to keep them going, by doing what he has trained you to do. You are the man and your a good man, I was told that by another good man just this past saturday by Chief Lasky. So you and the gang keep up your heads because thats what he would want. Just know he will always be there watching over the great UFD that he led for so long.!!!!! Take care Brother!!!! KTF

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