Our own worst enemies

What are we doing to each other? We are driven to serve, use the terms brother and sister religiously, put our lives on the line for people we've never met. Yet we are terrible to one another.

The adage "That's the way it's always been." is a common reply. "We bust chops. It's a firehouse thing." "Look how we turned out." All common responses to questions about behaviors in the fire service.

We've changed the way we think and operate to make us safer- Everyone Goes Home. SCBA, hoods, safer turnout gear- all steps on the fire side to change dangerous behaviors. Cancer as a threat and now taking precautions to lower the incidence. We can change.

So why do we have to be so cruel to each other under the guise of busting chops? We are raising our kids to be aware of the effects of bullying and stepping up to stop and prevent it. These same kids are now becoming adults, and some will join the fire service. So if their initial contact with firefighters is negative, why would they stay?

We spend millions of dollars to recruit firefighters- what are we really doing to keep them around? Sure, LOSAP programs are a great thing for the future, but what has your company done to welcome new members and work with them to successfully become a firefighter?

Like public relations, the success of new members has to be a team effort. All members of the organization need to be invested in the success of the organization, and that includes new members. In any system where change is needed, it has to come from leaders. Maybe not the elected ones, but people who can set examples for the rest. Bringing in a new member should involve meeting and greeting with as many members as possible. Even a simple smile or hello goes a long way to an individual in a new setting, especially one as challenging as the fire service.

I know- probies need to be seen and not heard. To an extent, I agree. Listening is a major part of learning. Encourage everyone to introduce themselves to new faces. Be a positive force for change- don't wait for a leader to tell you- just do it.

As for leaders- the bullying has to stop. We can't keep disguising bullying as "The way it's always been." and expect people to stay, especially in the volunteer organizations. In paid departments, it will lead to HR issues. For the bullied- stand up for yourself- demand help from leaders. Yes, it's hard and unpleasant, but an organization with less drama is easier to lead.

Members need to understand that there are many types of people, and as long as they want to serve, they deserve to be treated equally. This includes how they behave both in the station, in person and social media. Harassment can not be condoned. Online harassment can have a ripple effect, as an alienated member will often discuss the negative behavior to friends and followers. That will cause others to stop and think before considering where to serve.

We don't ride on the tailboard anymore. We can change. We just have to work at it. Empathy is not a character flaw.